"Over in Flint, Michigan, they've had to test their water for a few years now, and sometimes boil it before drinking. With a slew of new faces from the head coach to the zamboni driver here in Little Caesar's Arena for the season opener, we hope that our 2022-2023 Red Wings are ready to pass some tests of their own, and that we haven't just been boiling our own water before making the Kool-Aid out of it." - Plausible Keats