Stickpucker
Playmaka
- Jan 18, 2014
- 15,687
- 37,985
Hello,
Tonight we reach out to our viewers for help in finding a missing person Jesperi "KokoMiami" Kotkaniemi. He is known to go by the aliases Kokonut, Kokomiami, KK, or JK.
He is known for being a clutch goal scorer in the Stanley Cup playoffs at a young age when he played for bleu, blanc et rouge. After going missing he has a single (despite being on meetamishfarmers.com) assist this postseason.
Here is a picture of what he looks like:
(Everyone knew there was something off with him when he showed up to the presser dressed like Indian Jones)
He is not without controversy after "le ofre hostile". I'm sure there are many people in Montreal that would like to get their hands on him to perform unholy acts. (the ladies too *wink wink nudge nudge*).
But even after all of that there are were people up north that still loved him as evidenced here:
I'm pretty sure not many people are left up there that like him though after a few incidents post break up.
He also has gotten into fisticuffs with some pretty dangerous people:
One theory is he has made his way to Florida to lay low after stealing large sums of money from two NHL franchises. These photos have been circling on the dark web:
PS - It is 02:05 am IST and therefore game day.
Our Caniacs in the far east said it better than Al Davis when they said:
Game 6 lineups
Rongos:
f1 - Panarin - Zibenajad - Kreider?
f2 - lottery pick + bums
f3 - more bums
f4 - lottery pick + the dregs of humanity - jaws long lost son
d1 - traitorious lyin pig face diver Fox - ??
d2 - whoever they could get in FA - Mark Messier leader of the year award winner
d3 - probably some cheap contracts to fit in the cap
goalie:
GOAT, cyborg, the invincible, ninja reflexes, xray vision (cannot be screened), golden glove, the cat, more titles than a game of thrones char motha trucker Shesterkin
Canes lineup:
f1 - RBAs favorites and good boyos
f2 - won't shoot - can't buy a goal - likes to pass more than John Stockton
f3 - bunch of slow as a turtle old men
f4 - need a contract - here for another year - don't want a contract
d1 - old man who eats live snakes /w man who turns his rod into a serpent
d2 - need a contract (will cost too much) - public enemy who still got it
d3 - drink! - need a contract
g1 - pls be koochie. we all need some good koochie. Also, Andersen was aight last game and the ladies think he is sexy and can dress well, so there's that.
