Got this in an email the other day, not sure if anyone has seen it. Pretty good stuff.
>- The chief export of Gary Roberts is pain.
>
>- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Gary Roberts
>allows to live.
>
>- Gary Roberts is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
>
>- Gary Roberts invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum
>of visible light. Except pink.
>
>- When Gary Roberts is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
>He walks through them.
>
>- If Gary Roberts were a calendar, every month would be named
>Garytober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
>
>- What's known as UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use
>it's full name, which happens to be "Ultimate Fighting Championship,
>Non-Gary-Roberts-Division."
>
>- When Gary Roberts falls in water, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Gary
>Roberts.
>
>- Gary Roberts did not go the prom. He put the prom on his back and
>took it to the girl.
>
>- Gary Roberts CAN believe it's not butter.
>
>- The grass is always greener on the other side. That is, unless Gary
>Roberts has been on the other side. In that case, the grass is most
>likely the color of blood and tears.
>
>- Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women
>during his career. Gary Roberts calls this "Wednesday".
>
>- Gary Roberts ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And he got one.
>
>- Gary Roberts can slam a revolving door.
>
>- Gary Roberts does not heal, he regenerates.
>
>- Gary Roberts does not think he is tough. Tough thinks it is Gary Roberts.
>
>- Gary Roberts does not shoot the puck. The puck seeks to escape Gary
>as fast as possible to the relative safety of the net.
>
>- Gary Roberts does not get into fights. Players headbutt Garys fists
>in hopes that some of his greatness will rub off on them.
>
>- Gary Roberts does not have a gym membership. The gym has a Gary
>Roberts membership.
>
>- Georges Laraque named his fists Gary and Roberts.
>
>- Every day, Gary Roberts meditates for one hour. This is the only time
>the rest of the NHL can relax.
Got this in an email the other day, not sure if anyone has seen it. Pretty good stuff.
>- Gary Roberts is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
>- If Gary Roberts were a calendar, every month would be named
>Garytober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
>- Gary Roberts CAN believe it's not butter.
>- Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women
>during his career. Gary Roberts calls this "Wednesday".
>
>- Gary Roberts ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And he got one.
I had forgotten some of those... got a good chuckle out of it. Some are just bad. Some are not Chuckisms at all but were obviously invented by Pens fans as they do not make sense in another context.
I say we roll our own, because it dawned on me the other day that "Gary Roberts is Right", is a redundant sentence. Time to roll my own...
Did you know:
The only person Loren Wallace is afraid to race against... is Gary Roberts.
When Ted Nugent forgot how to be a bad-ass, he called Gary Roberts for advice.
Your wife was not a virgin when she met you, and Gary knows why.
There are four kinds of forward in the National Hockey League:
Offensive, Defensive, Two-Way, and Gary Roberts
(if this has been used before for other players, the person who said it has never seen Gary Roberts)
The last thing Nostradamus saw in his "vision of the end", was the back of Gary Roberts' jersey.
NATO Commanders abandoned their policy of nuclear deterrence in the 1990s, once they found out about Gary Roberts.
Gary Roberts does not get injured, this is just the NHL's way of giving other players a chance. When Mr. Roberts is on "injury break", he is usually half way across the world, teaching Discovery Channel hosts how to wrestle crocodiles and avoid sting-ray death.
Gary Roberts is the real Tyler Durden.
Gary Roberts invented the 1000 yard stare.
Last edited by Malkochalek: 04-20-2008 at 08:09 AM.
You don't mean Sean Avery do you? I saw the "A" in WWAD and figured it meant as*hole, so I knew right off you were talking about Avery. WWSAD? Only he knows for sure, but here are some helpful observations.
Sean Avery doesn't distract goalies, he face guards them.
When chillin' on the streets of.... town, Sean Avery doesn't redefine fashion, he gives it a bad name...
...kinda reminds of this guy only in cold weather gear.
...which leads me to Sean Avery doesn't give his women lots of love, but he does give them VD.
There are three lower life forms in the NHL:
Talentless goons, Cheap shot artists, and Sean Avery
BTW I don't hate Rangers fans but I'm not going to let you get away with WWAD either.
Last edited by Malkochalek: 04-20-2008 at 09:18 AM.
Ya you really can't compare Avery to Roberts...like at all. Avery will NEVER, EVER be the all out bad ass that Roberts is. I'm not ripping Averys talent either, I know he can score goals and anger the other team. But I'd bet everything I got on Avery wanting to avoid fighting Roberts. It may come to pass but beleive you me Avery would get his in that one sided slaugther.
Yes their just Chuck Norris jokes but who cares, there are a ton of the variations out there. It's just for fun. And when it comes to Chuck or Gary....psh Gary owns.
This is LA we're talking about... most cultural phenomenon that originate in LA are useless by definition. Not to mention, wrong. LA is the capital of wrong.
Frickin southern Californians... putting Sean Avery on t-shirts is what happens when you eat too many Tofu burgers and breath the smoggy goodness every day between therapist visits for you and your dog.
Do people remember just how awesome Roberts was as a Flame? He always has around 200 pims (good pims too), was getting about a point a game, was a beast defensively and was on every loose puck. He was like John Tonelli and Wendle Clark roled into one.
