Now that the weather has turned cooler, Pia the Platypus has moved indoors from the pond out back of Stately Repairman Manor to the hot tub next to the swimming pool. Before my morning swim, I must scoop up the poop found floating using my golf ball retriever, and believe you me, there's a lot of poop!
On top of all that, Pia eats almost exclusively a diet of giant tiger prawns and turns up her leathery bill-like snout to less expensive options like worms or imitation crab meat. I can tell you from personal experience what smell a Platypus gives off with such a diet, and it isn't Roses.
All well and good, you might say. Except for one important fact: Platypi have to be about the most useless creatures on God's Green Earth. I can't possibly understand what purpose they serve. While we all know of the unusual fauna in Australia (some that feature up to five orifices), I can't help but think this mutant species is nothing more than proof that Darwin's theory is out of whack. There's absolutely no endearing qualities this animal has. They show nothing in their behavior that can be considered the least bit pet-like. Plus, Pia really freaks out the dogs. They won't go anywhere near the swimming pool.
How do I break it to my daughter that I want Pia gone? And would the SPCA accept a Platypus?
that is a very unique animal, just out of curiousity how big is it and how did you get it?
I've had a few exotic pets myself but nothing that unique Tarantulas, Scorpions, Chameleons, Python and Boa. My sister had a hedge hog too which is really cool
and for contribution, I would try to explain to her that Pia needs to go and then compensate with a smaller more easier kept pet equally exotic and interesting!
The solution is simple Bicycle Repairman : release your dogs on the platypus, and say you thought it was Postman. Honest mistake, happens all the time, especially with vacuum salesmen.
The solution is simple Bicycle Repairman : release your dogs on the platypus, and say you thought it was Postman. Honest mistake, happens all the time, especially with vacuum salesmen.
that is a very unique animal, just out of curiousity how big is it and how did you get it?
and for contribution, I would try to explain to her that Pia needs to go and then compensate with a smaller more easier kept pet equally exotic and interesting!
It's about the size of your common housecat, but eats far more, often approaching it's own weight in a day sometimes. Absolutely voracious appetite.
Pia was obtained through channels the wife had with an Australian game warden. Canada Customs were flummoxed, as there was no official policy on this animal, so in the end I suppose we ended up setting precendent.
My home already is a host to a menagerie of exotic animals (birds mainly). All of which I can deal with outside of this damn platypus.
The solution is simple Bicycle Repairman : release your dogs on the platypus, and say you thought it was Postman. Honest mistake, happens all the time, especially with vacuum salesmen.
Platypus are half-mammal, half-bird right? Aren't they also poisonous? They have a venomous barb on their bodies that can make a child very sick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bicycle Repairman
Only the males.
Ah, well, there you have it - that's perfect then. Your daughter has a pet that can't ever make her sick, but will make all of her boyfriends very ill. Every father's dream!
Ah, well, there you have it - that's perfect then. Your daughter has a pet that can't ever make her sick, but will make all of her boyfriends very ill. Every father's dream!
I wish! Unfortunately, you're mistaken. It's male platypi to which I was refering.
Slap it with some gloves, demand satisfaction, if it doesn't show up, it is a coward, and must live out it's days in the mudroom with Chevy Chase's rotting corpse.
The solution is simple Bicycle Repairman : release your dogs on the platypus, and say you thought it was Postman. Honest mistake, happens all the time, especially with vacuum salesmen.
That wouldn't fly, unless you were to arm the platypus with a few automatic weapons.
Speaking of vacuum sales... isn't your mother in a related business?
I don't mind the Capybaras (pets of my other daughter), they're not bad considering they are basically 120 lb Guinea Pigs. Yea, they poop a lot, but it's contained to a litter box. They are quite docile for the most part and very affectionate. You can teach 'em tricks and stuff. You can leash them and take them for walks in the park (although you have to keep them away from dogs). However, they do like melons. Once melons are out of season, they switch to green leaf vegetables. Although large, they are low-maintenance pets. They make some endearing sounds, grunts and barks mostly. Quite delightful pets for the family, really.
The platypus, on the other hand, is an abomination of nature. What a vile creature.
Be careful now, Repairman. As I'm sure you've been quite well informed, the Platipus has strong venom, though I'm unsure how it extretes it.
Perhaps you should consult those you purchased the animal from for more practical feeding options. Surely the beasts cannot eat so stately in the wild, so there must be other alternatives.
BR, does it belong to the daughter with the GPS tracking device in her tooth, or the one who has caused the ongoing legal battle with respect to grade point average? If it's the latter, you may have just found yourself another bargaining chip. Have your lawyer contact her lawyer and suggest that her refusal to accept a reasonable compromise, combined with ongoing legal fees, is starting to make the daily bucket of tiger-prawns an expensive non-option.
I don't mind the Capybaras (pets of my other daughter), they're not bad considering they are basically 120 lb Guinea Pigs.
Did you know that the capybara is considered a fish by the Catholic church? The rodent roundup in Venezuela commences in February so they can be eaten during Lent. Some 400 tons are consumed each year according to various articles.
There's definitely some money to be made here through ruthless exploitation. We could sell excursions to Venezuela where one could spend a week as a "capybara cowboy".
48 AM on Monday, September 1, 2003
