Stereotyping different hockey countries

Hi! When you think about teams like Canada, Russia, Finland and etc. how would you discribe the style that they usually play and the characteristic's of different teams. I know that I'm just stereotyping a bit but this is how I find some countries

Canada: - hard hitting, can really shoot the puck, big, sometimes nasty, great goaltending :eek:

Russia: - individuals, tons of skill and speed, selfish, a bit soft, offensive minded :p:

Czech: - Discipline, are great with odd-man rushes, a mullet, divers :propeller

Slovakia: - Same as the Czechs but are not that discipline :teach:

USA: - slow, tough, simple hockey, good at face-offs

Sweden: - passing skills, team play, great tactics, solid all-around players, lucky :sarcasm: , always beat Finland in big games :help:

Finland: - great work ethic and team play, doesn't have enough skill, suck at scoring goals, defensive minded, fantastic goaltending, most physical national team in Europe, good all-around players :D

Don't take this too seriously ;)

There wasn't really a lack of scoring by the Finns at the olympics this year.

There wasn't really a lack of scoring by the Finns at the olympics this year.

Like i said I was stereotyping a bit, but still you have to admit that usually the biggest problem for our team has been scoring goals :cry:

Russia: - individuals, tons of skill and speed, selfish, a bit soft, offensive minded :p:

I know we are getting this stereotype nowadays, but if you look at the old USSR team, it was the most unselfish team ever...

I know we are getting this stereotype nowadays, but if you look at the old USSR team, it was the most unselfish team ever...

yeah, it was... ;)

I wouldn't classify the Americans as slow. Marchant, Amonte, Cole, Modano, Park, Drury, Rafalski and many others are far from slow. One of the fastest players in this draft is Kessel. I'd also say that the Americans are fairly strong in goal, and have a knack for developing good defencemen in recent times.

From what I've seen of Belarus players in limited viewings through the past decade, they are a gritty, resilient bunch.

I know we are getting this stereotype nowadays, but if you look at the old USSR team, it was the most unselfish team ever...

When the R5 played for the Wings, us fans would always moan about how they'd keep passing and take forever to get shots off.

I wouldn't classify the Americans as slow. Marchant, Amonte, Cole, Modano, Park, Drury, Rafalski and many others are far from slow. One of the fastest players in this draft is Kessel. I'd also say that the Americans are fairly strong in goal, and have a knack for developing good defencemen in recent times.

From what I've seen of Belarus players in limited viewings through the past decade, they are a gritty, resilient bunch.

Strong in goal? The US probably has the weakest goaltending of all of the hockey nation powers. Conklin, Graham, Esche, Miller, DiPietro, when was the last time the US put out an all-star worth goalie? The US puts out goalies that are good enough to be a #1, but not good enough to singlehandedly win a game.

Strong in goal? The US probably has the weakest goaltending of all of the hockey nation powers. Conklin, Graham, Esche, Miller, DiPietro, when was the last time the US put out an all-star worth goalie? The US puts out goalies that are good enough to be a #1, but not good enough to singlehandedly win a game.


Well, not since Richter retired. :teach: ;)

Finland = a poor man's Canada (though this should probably be reversed with the outcome of a certain hockey tourney this year).

Finland is easily the most "North American" hockey country in Europe, and considering the two countries they are squeezed between, its kind of perplexing actually.

Finland = a poor man's Canada (though this should probably be reversed with the outcome of a certain hockey tourney this year).

Finland is easily the most "North American" hockey country in Europe, and considering the two countries they are squeezed between, its kind of perplexing actually.
It probably comes from the character of the people. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Finland has never had independence. It belonged to Sweden until 1740 (?), and after yet another Swedish loss to Russia, Finland was lost to Russia. After February of 1917, Russian Temporary Government has granted independence to Poland and Finland. I guess since then, the Finnish have vehemently defended its independence in all its forms.

Now, our fellow Finnish posters, please correct me or add if something is missing or wrong.

It probably comes from the character of the people. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Finland has never had independence. It belonged to Sweden until 1740 (?), and after yet another Swedish loss to Russia, Finland was lost to Russia. After February of 1917, Russian Temporary Government has granted independence to Poland and Finland. I guess since then, the Finnish have vehemently defended its independence in all its forms.

Now, our fellow Finnish posters, please correct me or add if something is missing or wrong.

1917 Russia lost Finland after it seized independence. (Finns declared independence, and fought a war in which it, amogst other things, threw out the reamining Russian troops) It ended up "sealed" in writing in the German-Russian peace treaty of WW1, in which the Germans made the Russians sign a document in which they gave independence to Finland, Baltic countries and uuh, Poland?

Germany was probably the first nation to recognise Finnish independence, and it had trained the Finnish Jaegers and even made a landing in Hanko from where German troops marched to and liberated Helsinki from the reds (Russian troops, but mostly Finnish pro-communist forces who favoured being a part of Russia).
And we were supposed to get a German king, didn't turn out that way, and now his descendant who would've been king, is a famous fashion photographer in New York. (He's quite funny, saw him some years ago on a finnish talk show, kinda a pity we didn't get him as king..)

roughly, no need to be more precise on a hockey board =p

Actually I think Britain is the most "North American" country in Europe.

Unless you're factoring in the skill level :D in which case Finland pulps GB.

Sweden lucky? :dunno:
I think Jenkki sums it up pretty well. Would not call the americans slow doh, not on their skates any way ;)

I think Czech players are similar to the Russian players, great individuals who mostly have offensive skills so a big :handclap: to the Czech coaches who have shaped them into a mean winning machine, atleast during the late 90´s, who played smart and disciplined. And man, can they dive.

It probably comes from the character of the people. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Finland has never had independence. It belonged to Sweden until 1740 (?), and after yet another Swedish loss to Russia, Finland was lost to Russia. After February of 1917, Russian Temporary Government has granted independence to Poland and Finland. I guess since then, the Finnish have vehemently defended its independence in all its forms.

Now, our fellow Finnish posters, please correct me or add if something is missing or wrong.

No this is true. And this is why Finland always does so well under Swedish command. King, captain, coach or just a boss. They all get the best out of the Finns. :p:

Strong in goal? The US probably has the weakest goaltending of all of the hockey nation powers. Conklin, Graham, Esche, Miller, DiPietro, when was the last time the US put out an all-star worth goalie? The US puts out goalies that are good enough to be a #1, but not good enough to singlehandedly win a game.

Weakest goaltending? You're not serious I hope.

Would Ryan Miller not qualify as an all-star type goalie? Dipietro isn't far from being a top-notch goalie IMO either - people forget how young he still is, with his best years ahead of him.

I said "fairly strong", and it was more a testament to the American depth and number of young prospects than having 'superstar" goalies. There have been a pile more solid American goalies though the years in the NHL than Swedish goalies for instance. In fact, the US has produced more NHL goalies than any nation other than Canada, and I would rank them third currently when it comes to producing goalies.

As for prospects, Montoya, Schneider, Howard, Frazee, Quick, Bacashihua, LeNevue, Goepfert...that's a more impressive list of goalie prospects than say....Slovakia's. In fact I'd put it up there with any country's young goalie prospects save Canada and perhaps Finland.

The descriptions in the first post are for the most part spot on IMO. I would only add passing skills for the Czechs and stickhandling in the corners/near the boards for the Swedes (they seem to love it). :)

Weakest goaltending? You're not serious I hope.

Would Ryan Miller not qualify as an all-star type goalie? Dipietro isn't far from being a top-notch goalie IMO either - people forget how young he still is, with his best years ahead of him.

I said "fairly strong", and it was more a testament to the American depth and number of young prospects than having 'superstar" goalies. There have been a pile more solid American goalies though the years in the NHL than Swedish goalies for instance. In fact, the US has produced more NHL goalies than any nation other than Canada, and I would rank them third currently when it comes to producing goalies.

As for prospects, Montoya, Schneider, Howard, Frazee, Quick, Bacashihua, LeNevue, Goepfert...that's a more impressive list of goalie prospects than say....Slovakia's. In fact I'd put it up there with any country's young goalie prospects save Canada and perhaps Finland.

You cant compare European goalies and American goalies on how many of them have played in the NHL. It is not until recently that so many Europeans play in the NHL and I dont think you have been following the leagues in Europe to really tell who is good and who isnt. Americans do produce good goalies but that is not what I think of when I think of American hockey. And Sweden have never been a great nation when it comes to produce goalies. We use to have one really good one and then several 3rd choices. Canada and Finland is the countrys who produce great goalies. Russia is probably the worst in that department among the big nations.

Actually I think Britain is the most "North American" country in Europe.



Or... North America is the most Brittish country in the world... :)

I think Czech players are similar to the Russian players, great individuals who mostly have offensive skills

If I had to compare any other hockey nation to Russia then it would be Slovakia not Czech republic. Slovaks are faster and really resemble the Russian style.

And USA plays slow, that's correct (which makes it boring to watch)

I pretty much agree with everything.

You cant compare European goalies and American goalies on how many of them have played in the NHL. It is not until recently that so many Europeans play in the NHL and I dont think you have been following the leagues in Europe to really tell who is good and who isnt. Americans do produce good goalies but that is not what I think of when I think of American hockey. And Sweden have never been a great nation when it comes to produce goalies. We use to have one really good one and then several 3rd choices. Canada and Finland is the countrys who produce great goalies. Russia is probably the worst in that department among the big nations.

I wasn't talking about 40 years ago obviously - I'm talking in the past 25 years - no European teams are close in the number of NHL goalies to play in the NHL.

how do you know I don't follow European goalies? I keep a tab on hockey prospects all over the world fyi.

I place the Americans third among hockey nations for goalies, and that's a solid third. You don't seem to dispute that. I'd say you are closer to agreement with me than you are with the fellow who stated that the Americans were the worst among the elite teams at producing goalies, and that is obviously false IMO.

I could see America being the 3rd nation in the goalie development but there is a big step up to Canada and Finland. And as I said, when talking about stereotypes, goalies aint among the first things I think about when I think about american hockey.

Strong in goal? The US probably has the weakest goaltending of all of the hockey nation powers. Conklin, Graham, Esche, Miller, DiPietro, when was the last time the US put out an all-star worth goalie? The US puts out goalies that are good enough to be a #1, but not good enough to singlehandedly win a game.
What about Tim Thomas :)

No this is true. And this is why Finland always does so well under Swedish command. King, captain, coach or just a boss. They all get the best out of the Finns. :p:

I am still much too depressed from that unmentionable, already utterly forgotten match in February (that was basically supposed to stop me from ever again minding these endless Finnish final losses) to be provoked by this amateur effort.

One interesting point though is that the moment Sweden lost Finland they also stopped having wars. I guess no-one around to do the dirty work any more. Nice thread anyway, I would add one thing for Finland: collapses in finals...

As for prospects, Montoya, Schneider, Howard, Frazee, Quick, Bacashihua, LeNevue, Goepfert...that's a more impressive list of goalie prospects than say....Slovakia's. In fact I'd put it up there with any country's young goalie prospects save Canada and perhaps Finland.

I will agree with you that the United States have some good up and coming goaltenders. However David LeNeveu is Canadian. Born in Fernie BC, played for Canada at the World Juniors. He did however play at Cornell which is in the NCAA where he was outstanding

In fact, the US has produced more NHL goalies than any nation other than Canada,
And this has nothing to do with the fact the NHL is a North American league, obviously ?

Finland: - fantastic goaltending,Was not true before two years ago.

Was not true before two years ago.
Agreed. In 2002 SLC we had Hurme and Markkanen(?).. :help:

Sweden lucky? :dunno:
He was being sarcastic as Sweden always beat Finland in big games. :)

And maybe he's also referring to whatever happened in 2003 WHC :cry:

And this has nothing to do with the fact the NHL is a North American league, obviously ?


There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

Are you trying to tell me there are a whole bunch of goalies in europe that are good enough to play in the NHL but don't bother because it is a North American league? I'd like to see that list.

I don't mind a good debate, but often when it involves European posters, logic seems to be thrown out the window and the debate comes down to a "Us against them" mentality.

There's not a poster here that can logically claim that ANY nation other than Canada has produced more NHL-calibre goalies in the past 20 years than the Americans.

Here are some american goales that have played in the NHL in the past two decades.

Vanbiesbrouck
Richter
Miller
Esche
Dipietro
Barrasso
Dunham
Snow
Mason
Janecyk
Johnson
Jablonski
Grahame
Hebert
Carey
Casey
Rhodes
Terreri
Stauber
Ellis
Bacashihua
Anderson
Sauve
Morrison
Thomas
Clemmenson

Countless all-star appearances, and several Vezina and Calder trophy winners. No - they weren't all superstars, but neither were the likes of Takko, Salo, Hedberg, etc.

Someone come up with a list of Swedish, Finnish, Russian, Slovakian and Czech goalies in the past 20 years. After you get past the first half dozen or so goalies form each country, the list gets pretty weak, doesn't it?

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

Are you trying to tell me there are a whole bunch of goalies in europe that are good enough to play in the NHL but don't bother because it is a North American league? I'd like to see that list.

I don't mind a good debate, but often when it involves European posters, logic seems to be thrown out the window and the debate comes down to a "Us against them" mentality.

There's not a poster here that can logically claim that ANY nation other than Canada has produced more NHL-calibre goalies in the past 20 years than the Americans.

Here are some american goales that have played in the NHL in the past two decades.

Vanbiesbrouck
Richter
Miller
Esche
Dipietro
Barrasso
Dunham
Snow
Mason
Janecyk
Johnson
Jablonski
Grahame
Hebert
Carey
Casey
Rhodes
Terreri
Stauber
Ellis
Bacashihua
Anderson
Sauve
Morrison
Thomas
Clemmenson

Countless all-star appearances, and several Vezina and Calder trophy winners. No - they weren't all superstars, but neither were the likes of Takko, Salo, Hedberg, etc.

Someone come up with a list of Swedish, Finnish, Russian, Slovakian and Czech goalies in the past 20 years. After you get past the first half dozen or so goalies form each country, the list gets pretty weak, doesn't it?

If you're talking about Nashvilles Chris Mason than you'd be wrong, he is not American, nor would he really be worth mentioning in "great goaltenders" catergory. Good backup maybe, great goaltender no.

I don't mind a good debate, but often when it involves European posters, logic seems to be thrown out the window and the debate comes down to a "Us against them" mentality.



Classy.

This i stereotypes, it isn't the real truth, I don't think about great goaltending when I think about the US either but to be honest, the only ones I think great goaltending about is Canada.

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

So what exactly is the ratio of European skaters to NA skaters and what's the ratio of European goalies to NA goalies?

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

Are you trying to tell me there are a whole bunch of goalies in europe that are good enough to play in the NHL but don't bother because it is a North American league? I'd like to see that list.

Get your head out of your you know what. Of course it's harder for an European to get to NHL, obviously it's getting easier and easier, but let's say ten years back it was much harder for an European.

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

Are you trying to tell me there are a whole bunch of goalies in europe that are good enough to play in the NHL but don't bother because it is a North American league? I'd like to see that list.

I don't mind a good debate, but often when it involves European posters, logic seems to be thrown out the window and the debate comes down to a "Us against them" mentality.

There's not a poster here that can logically claim that ANY nation other than Canada has produced more NHL-calibre goalies in the past 20 years than the Americans.

Here are some american goales that have played in the NHL in the past two decades.

Vanbiesbrouck
Richter
Miller
Esche
Dipietro
Barrasso
Dunham
Snow
Mason
Janecyk
Johnson
Jablonski
Grahame
Hebert
Carey
Casey
Rhodes
Terreri
Stauber
Ellis
Bacashihua
Anderson
Sauve
Morrison
Thomas
Clemmenson

Countless all-star appearances, and several Vezina and Calder trophy winners. No - they weren't all superstars, but neither were the likes of Takko, Salo, Hedberg, etc.

Someone come up with a list of Swedish, Finnish, Russian, Slovakian and Czech goalies in the past 20 years. After you get past the first half dozen or so goalies form each country, the list gets pretty weak, doesn't it?
Well, two of my all-time favourite goalies are american, Beezer and Thomas, but since Richter I don't feel the US has had a clear cut #1 go-to-guy like most other countries.

I would add one thing for Finland: collapses in finals...

I forgot that one, thanks :biglaugh:

Well, two of my all-time favourite goalies are american, Beezer and Thomas, but since Richter I don't feel the US has had a clear cut #1 go-to-guy like most other countries.

Miller is one right now.

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously. It's not a world league, some European players choose to play in their country rather than in NA, whether you admit it or not.

I can't really come up with too many lofty adjectives for American hockey right now (I'm talking in their prime NHL talent). I'll use the Olympic team this year as an example: Good, not great goaltending. Good team speed. Good playmaking ability but not much finish. Basically a bunch of good but not great talent that can just as easily finish out of the running as place top three. The future looks bright though.

I have to say about goalies that it's totally different in one way. Ie. Bäckström/Norrena from Finland would easily be top-3 goalies in most of NHL teams. But they want to play, they don't want to play AHL and maybe even make less money. Same time for US goalie it's totally different. You are in home country and it's first option, even AHL before going over to europe. If you are player there is much more room. And even players in 3-4 lines do get to play. But ie. 2nd goalie in NJ hardly ever plays. So some european vets don't want to go over to sit in bench.

And if you will compare how many players vs goalies there is from USA in NHL or same thing with finnish players&goalies you will see totally different ratio. Even with this situation I did mention above.

I did fast counting and I came up with number of 22.2% all NHL'ers of Finland being goalies this season. And about yankees it's like ~13%.

It just feels as if every team (not only NHL) have a Finnish back up and atleast one Finnish goalie drafted for the future. That´s´why the stereo type about Finland producing alot of goalies. And remember people this thread was about stereo types, dont have to be factual.

It just feels as if every team (not only NHL) have a Finnish back up and atleast one Finnish goalie drafted for the future. That´s´why the stereo type about Finland producing alot of goalies. And remember people this thread was about stereo types, dont have to be factual.

And it's even factual if you are just comparing the rates of players/goalies :jump:

I have to say about goalies that it's totally different in one way. Ie. Bäckström/Norrena from Finland would easily be top-3 goalies in most of NHL teams. But they want to play, they don't want to play AHL and maybe even make less money. Same time for US goalie it's totally different. You are in home country and it's first option, even AHL before going over to europe. If you are player there is much more room. And even players in 3-4 lines do get to play. But ie. 2nd goalie in NJ hardly ever plays. So some european vets don't want to go over to sit in bench.

And if you will compare how many players vs goalies there is from USA in NHL or same thing with finnish players&goalies you will see totally different ratio. Even with this situation I did mention above.

I did fast counting and I came up with number of 22.2% all NHL'ers of Finland being goalies this season. And about yankees it's like ~13%.

That's exactly how it is.

A little surprised to not see the word "trap" associated with Finland so far. I guess we're all being PC. ;)

Also, Finland and goaltending? How about the Czech Republic and goaltending? That's been their entire identity for the past decade.

A little surprised to not see the word "trap" associated with Finland so far. I guess we're all being PC. ;)

Also, Finland and goaltending? How about the Czech Republic and goaltending? That's been their entire identity for the past decade.

For me Finnish "trap" isn´t that bad because Finland forechecks guite vigorously.

I agree that Czech Republic has 2 great goaltenders and many others that are good. This was about stereotypes, and Czech icehockey brings to my mind counterattacks, big and talented players that use finesse rather that brute force. If I think of their players I remember all those skilled forwards led by Jagr. Then I remember their one great goalie Hazek. After that I notice that they have a good number of offencive defencemen. So all in all Czech doesn´t strike to me as a great goaltending nation.

Belarus: potatoes, putting icepack on top of head, smallish head-standing goalies, potatoes, skating upright, taking shots from red line because, hey, why not?, potatoes, dream socre: 1-1, nandrolone injected with same suringe for whole team... did I mention potatoes?

Kazakhstan: a token Asian guy, the famed Torpedo Ust-Kamenogorsk knee-in-the-groin defensive positioning, dream score: 0-0, fixin' a tie with Ukraine as a survival strategy if enough horses are raised for bribe, one and a half ice-rinks, an extremely poor man's Latvia, which is an indigent man's Russia, which is a drunken idiot's USSR.

A little surprised to not see the word "trap" associated with Finland so far. I guess we're all being PC. ;)

Also, Finland and goaltending? How about the Czech Republic and goaltending? That's been their entire identity for the past decade.
I'd say scoring wingers trumps goaltenders in the Czech Republic

There's no lack of European skaters in the league - it is a world league, obviously.

Are you trying to tell me there are a whole bunch of goalies in europe that are good enough to play in the NHL but don't bother because it is a North American league? I'd like to see that list.

I don't mind a good debate, but often when it involves European posters, logic seems to be thrown out the window and the debate comes down to a "Us against them" mentality.

There's not a poster here that can logically claim that ANY nation other than Canada has produced more NHL-calibre goalies in the past 20 years than the Americans.

Here are some american goales that have played in the NHL in the past two decades.

Vanbiesbrouck
Richter
Miller
Esche
Dipietro
Barrasso
Dunham
Snow
Mason
Janecyk
Johnson
Jablonski
Grahame
Hebert
Carey
Casey
Rhodes
Terreri
Stauber
Ellis
Bacashihua
Anderson
Sauve
Morrison
Thomas
Clemmenson

Countless all-star appearances, and several Vezina and Calder trophy winners. No - they weren't all superstars, but neither were the likes of Takko, Salo, Hedberg, etc.

Someone come up with a list of Swedish, Finnish, Russian, Slovakian and Czech goalies in the past 20 years. After you get past the first half dozen or so goalies form each country, the list gets pretty weak, doesn't it?
You also forget that 20 years ago it'd be much harder to find a european goaltender in the league.

Belarus: potatoes, putting icepack on top of head, smallish head-standing goalies, potatoes, skating upright, taking shots from red line because, hey, why not?, potatoes, dream socre: 1-1, nandrolone injected with same suringe for whole team... did I mention potatoes?

Kazakhstan: a token Asian guy, the famed Torpedo Ust-Kamenogorsk knee-in-the-groin defensive positioning, dream score: 0-0, fixin' a tie with Ukraine as a survival strategy if enough horses are raised for bribe, one and a half ice-rinks, an extremely poor man's Latvia, which is an indigent man's Russia, which is a drunken idiot's USSR.


Oh you have to be Russian and a hockey fan to fully appreciate and understand that, hats off my friend, excellent piece! :biglaugh: :clap:

I'd say scoring wingers trumps goaltenders in the Czech Republic

I wouldn't think that's the case around Canada.

Belarus: potatoes, putting icepack on top of head, smallish head-standing goalies, potatoes, skating upright, taking shots from red line because, hey, why not?, potatoes, dream socre: 1-1, nandrolone injected with same suringe for whole team... did I mention potatoes?

Kazakhstan: a token Asian guy, the famed Torpedo Ust-Kamenogorsk knee-in-the-groin defensive positioning, dream score: 0-0, fixin' a tie with Ukraine as a survival strategy if enough horses are raised for bribe, one and a half ice-rinks, an extremely poor man's Latvia, which is an indigent man's Russia, which is a drunken idiot's USSR.

Oh you have to be Russian and a hockey fan to fully appreciate and understand that, hats off my friend, excellent piece! :biglaugh: :clap:

:shakehead
And that's exactly the reason why Russia is unanimously hated in most former USSR and Eastern Block countries.

And that's exactly the reason why Russia is unanimously hated in most former USSR and Eastern Block countries.
No. The reason is no sense of humor in some people.. ;)

No. The reason is no sense of humor in some people.. ;)

Belarus: dream socre: 1-1, nandrolone injected with same suringe for whole team... did I mention potatoes?

Kazakhstan: fixin' a tie with Ukraine as a survival strategy if enough horses are raised for bribe, one and a half ice-rinks, an extremely poor man's Latvia

Apologize my lack of humor, but these quotes seem like a clear insult to me.

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.

Finally we got the text to match the topic.

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.

:biglaugh:

Good one from Piggish :biglaugh:

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.

:biglaugh:

Now this is what I call humor! Big thumbs up! :handclap:

Way to go piggish, finally some good stuff in this thread :biglaugh:

Yo, that **** is mad funny!!! :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

Belarus: potatoes, putting icepack on top of head, smallish head-standing goalies, potatoes, skating upright, taking shots from red line because, hey, why not?, potatoes, dream socre: 1-1, nandrolone injected with same suringe for whole team... did I mention potatoes?

Kazakhstan: a token Asian guy, the famed Torpedo Ust-Kamenogorsk knee-in-the-groin defensive positioning, dream score: 0-0, fixin' a tie with Ukraine as a survival strategy if enough horses are raised for bribe, one and a half ice-rinks, an extremely poor man's Latvia, which is an indigent man's Russia, which is a drunken idiot's USSR.
Jesus, this is really offensive. I'm from RF and I love hockey, but this is a bit extreme. Belarus is actually turning into quite a power. I would not be surprised if they'd supplant Slovakia as the 7th hockey power in the world in the next 5 years and hey, they might catch us if Comrade Lukashenko will continue to support sports the way good ole' USSR used to.

Kazakhstan will not amount a whole lot... It's basically the kids in the sparsely populated vast regions of North Kazakhstan that will carry on the fight for their country, but jeez, no need to insult'em that much.

Way to go piggish, finally some good stuff in this thread :biglaugh:
QFT.

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.


Very funny and bang on. You win.

:shakehead
And that's exactly the reason why Russia is unanimously hated in most former USSR and Eastern Block countries.
I thought that violent control of other countries was to blame. Not some jokes that are fully reinforced by your own KVN teams (which are good, btw).

This is not to say that it's not offensive, because the "injecting drug" joke kind of gets too far. But saying that Belarus is a potato country is like saying that Russia is a vodka country. And not many Russians get insulted from that.

Piggish, you rock!

:yo:

edit: this is about hockey, keep politics out of this please!

Weakest goaltending? You're not serious I hope.

Would Ryan Miller not qualify as an all-star type goalie? Dipietro isn't far from being a top-notch goalie IMO either - people forget how young he still is, with his best years ahead of him.

I said "fairly strong", and it was more a testament to the American depth and number of young prospects than having 'superstar" goalies. There have been a pile more solid American goalies though the years in the NHL than Swedish goalies for instance. In fact, the US has produced more NHL goalies than any nation other than Canada, and I would rank them third currently when it comes to producing goalies.

As for prospects, Montoya, Schneider, Howard, Frazee, Quick, Bacashihua, LeNevue, Goepfert...that's a more impressive list of goalie prospects than say....Slovakia's. In fact I'd put it up there with any country's young goalie prospects save Canada and perhaps Finland.

I see your point... But sometime i think the U.S lacks goaltending depth... You have good goaltenders but I don't see Any Brodeur or Kiprusoft...

But I understand your point..

and by the way, LeNeveu is Canadian but he choose the U.S route as a junior (Cornell University). He played for Team Canada at the word junior few years ago..

Good call on LeNeveu....As for none of them being as good as Brodeur and Kipper...who is? Do you have a lengthy list of Swedish, Russian and Slovakian goalies better than Brodeur? How about none?

I have yet to see a strong argument against the Americans having the third best goalie development in the world, and arguably the second best in depth, which is all I am stating.

Do you have a lengthy list of Russian goalies better than Brodeur? How about none?



Tretiak count?

:shakehead
And that's exactly the reason why Russia is unanimously hated in most former USSR and Eastern Block countries.


Come on man, we still love you guys. I would think atleast Belarussians could take a joke. And since when do u hate us?

Ok then I think we will have to make a new stereotype for the US of A since this seem to have turned in to a goalie thread.

USA: - slow, tough, simple hockey, good at face-offs and lots of goalies who never turn out to be anything more then at best a solid back up even do their goalie development have been one of the best for several years and USA would probably be the strongest goalie nation, maybe even hockey nation, if teams where allowed to play with 5 goalies and one skater rather then as today the other way around.

Canada: Violent toothless giants slowly glide from one end of the rink to the other, elbowing everything that moves as they go, including zambonis. Friendly North American referees give the opponent two minutes for diving. After the match the coach talks about how his players showed heart by mauling some poor Slovenian during the warm-up.

USA: Too busy partying to care about hockey, the Yanks crosscheck their hotel rooms' televisions to bits somewhere during the second sixpack, then accuse the broken TV sets of play-acting when they can't watch porn.

Sweden: Red-headed ******** lazily surf around for 58 minutes, then score four times to win the game, each off a triple or quadruple deflection. Like to keep a deliberate pace and play a tactical game, i.e. they're boring and ultra-defensive.

Czech Republic: These mullet-sporting primadonnas win every game in which no one tackles anyone. The country's national sport, diving, has sadly left a mark in its hockey program.

Slovakia: Lightning-fast show-offs handicap themselves by refusing to acknowledge that they have several team mates on the ice to whom they could, you know, pass and stuff. Due to some sort of national inferiority complex, they forget even the basics whenever forced to play the Czechs. Believe that "goalies" is what people called prisons in the Middle Ages.

Russia: The most talented bunch of total losers known to man, Russian players generally can't do anything right unless a forceful/insane coach/dictator tells them when and how to pass, shoot, take a piss, etc. Despite this masochistic tendency, they manage to be highly arrogant, too.

Finland: Industrious midgets set up a nigh on impenetrable wall on their own blue line, backed by a wizard in goal and drunken orcs in the stands. This works wonderfully until they realize that they might actually win something, at which point they all fall down dead.
:biglaugh: :biglaugh:

Piggish: You hit the nail on the head ... several times. :yo:

:biglaugh: